We have no words

Once again, the lovely analysts over in the finance hemisphere- this time, at JP Morgan, are clearly using their Friday-before-Labor-Day productivity to good use, with a:

McNugget Challenge!

Two Analysts. 70 nuggets each. 60 minutes to devour them. Winner becomes master of the universe, or something 'awesome' and 'badass' like that. Or something.

Whatever- it's Friday afternoon, and gorgeous outside. We will be celeb hunting in Soho, so if you are still at work and need a bit of entertainment, check out our heroes' progress at Dealbreaker.

photo pulled from rejectedjokes

Nightlife News

To begin with, we have another hilarious finance guy- also a hedge funder- who decided to spend 10 grand on drinks in one night of clubbing. At Marquee.

Interested to know who this character is?

Meet Hrish Lotlikar, 33, and a vice president at a venture capital firm. He said "We started at the Yale Club and went on to Marquee." He also said "I do a lot of business in clubs, and this (Marquee) is definitely a hot place, a place you want to see and be seen. It oils the wheels when you're making deals." Ew. Maybe we're just perverts, but that last sentence brought up some gross imagery.

Anyway, so this guy spends 10K at Marquee in one night. We sort of wish we could find him and say "if you're looking to blow 10 g's at a club, we can probably name at least 15 hotspots before even coming close to Marquee." Sigh. Guess he's more concerned with getting his wheels oiled. In case any of you are interested, though, NYMag was kind enough to link his Friendster profile. Happy stalking!

In other news, nightlife queen Amy Sacco will be opening up another outpost of her crowned jewel, Bungalow 8, in Amsterdam. Think NYC's palm-tree potted Bungalow.....but fueled with even more drugs and madness than you thought imaginable. Is that even possible??

Amsterdam's Bungalow should be opening late November.

Also: Pastel-polo, Trinity College-educated haven Bar Martignetti has been closed for the past few months, although its downstairs counterpart, Southside, has been in full swing. Now, the Soho space will be reborn as "Brinkley's" with TVs tuned to rugby and American football, giving it a English-pub feel. We're thinking the crowd may look the same as before, but with cuter accents hopefully?

Hilarity from the Finance World

Do you ever wonder: what do those finance guys really do all day besides stare at Excel? Well at this very moment, an analyst (late 20's) at an unnamed hedge fund on Park Avenue is gorging himself with junk food for sport, in an attempt to break the record for an earlier gorger/intern over in Citi's London office.

He has 9 hours to eat 40 items, which include Snickers, Butterfinger, Trail's Best Double Salami, Cheez-its, and chedder fries. If our hedge funder succeeds, he would have engorged 9030 calories, 422 grams of fat, and 566 grams of sugar.

sidenote: It should be noted that many of the items on the list have been expired for 1-2 months.

5:46 pm Update: 31 items down, 9 items left to be eaten

8:00 pm Update: 35 items down, 5 to go- Threw in the towel

Ah. Good to know that the guys whose jobs it is to take care of people's money are spending their time so wisely.

Photo pulled from Dealbreaker.com